My Family Language #1

Just like every other family in the world, mine has it's own language. We have certain phrases that if any outsider heard them it would raise eyebrows. Granted my family is far from normal, I thought it would be nice if I gave you a few definitions and background stories on our common phrases.

I am not a normal person... I never called people by their proper names. I had a sort of fascination with nicknames as a child and gave somewhat odd nicknames to certain members of my family. When I was young I would call my uncle "Skunkle" because I didn't like his cologne. My aunt was called "Ninny" instead of her real name. Finally I have always called my mother "Nonna" or "Nonny". I have no idea why I do this. I'm just a strange person. My fascination with nicknames also extended to certain foods. As a child I loved fruit cocktail. I called it "Fruit Cotton Tail" because I loved the Peter Cotton Tail books.

Sometimes my parents don't think before they speak. Neither do I but some interesting things end up coming out of their mouths such as "Buttheaded warble muffin". That nickname was courtesy of my father in reference to my mother's dog. The dog (being very small in stature) tripped my father as he was going into the kitchen.

Another great one is "I'll try again once you get a life." As awful as that sounds he was trying to be helpful. My parents love playing Candy Crush Soda and my mother was stuck on a level. My father was helping her but ran out of lives. He handed her the phone and muttered those words.

My father is a good man but sometimes he says the oddest things (as you can probably already tell). One day he and my mother went to Rent-A-Center to get some couches. He went outside and backed his truck up to the door so they could load it. He walked inside and proudly (and loudly according to my mother) announced, "I'm all backed up!" Once he realized the implication that made he went red.

My mother isn't out of this either. She has her moments too. Just the other day she was holding her dog and he tried to run off. She tried to catch him and ended up catching his nub of a tail. When she did she said "OOPS! Catch a Boomer by the nub." The whole house busted up laughing.