Marrying for ..... BBQ Sauce?

Today I was asked the old question. Am I looking for love or money in my next relationship. I thought about this for just a moment. Of course I want to marry for love but I don't want my man to be broke either. Come on, who doesn't want a man to help take care of her when she's having hard times?

Just as I opened my mouth to give my answer my mother (who was having her own completely separate conversation) said loudly "Barbecue Sauce." Of course everyone around us started laughing but it got me thinking. What I want out of a man has several similarities to what I want in a man.


Sweetness:
My favorite barbecue sauces have honey or some sort of other sweetness. I want my man to be sweet and thoughtful. He doesn't have to bring me presents every day or cook for me all the time. I just want him to think of me and treat me like a lady.


Have a slight kick:
I like a sauce with a little tangy, spicy kick. I also like my man to have the same sass to him. I need someone who can take a teasing, but can put me in my place if I NEED it. He also has to be able to give me a shove.


Be priced moderately:
Now I know a man can't be bought but a sauce can. I don't like the cheap sauces because they don't have the rich complexity that I like. A cheap man is similar. All he thinks about is saving money. I agree that saving money is a good thing but all things need to be in moderation. Going out to dinner once in a while is nice.

On the other hand expensive barbecue sauces rarely live up to the hype. Again it's like a rich man. It may be nice to have expensive things but the reality is that he is likely just looking for a good time, A man who can control his wealth is a rarity these days just like a product living up to expectations.


The family has to like it:
If your family doesn't like a certain barbecue sauce you don't use it. It should be the same for a man. If you want to add him to the family you should at least make sure the family likes him. That goes for him too. He should like your family but keep in mind that if he doesn't you will be torn between them. Come on ladies. You know it's true. You need to be prepared for every eventuality.


You really do like it:
How many times have we settled for the thing we like less just because it's a habit or because it's cheaper? I know I've done it. That shouldn't be the case for a man. You need to really like him. Don't date someone out of desperation or convenience. You should genuinely care about them if you are going to be spending that much time or effort into the relationship.


So who's with me? Shall we marry for Barbecue Sauce?

Life as Told by YouTube April- October 2015

April

Fight Song by Rachel Platten

I chose this song for April because about then I realized that I was letting life happen to me because of how the last few years had played out. I decided to take matters into my own hands and apply to work for the county.

May

People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson

On May 4th I started working for the county and I saw people who were in as bad or worse situations than I was. I also started working with people who showed me how to pull myself up and get things done even with the worst situations. I'm reminded daily of how far I've come and how far I have yet to go. 

June

Masterpiece by Jessie J

Masterpiece describes June because that is when I started applying for full time positions with the county and other places. I had several interviews and was determined to get a good job.

July

Independent Women by Destiny's Child

I was finally starting to get some confidence being able to get what I wanted and needed. 

August

Hold Me Jesus by Rich Mullins

August was stressful to me in the regards that I was anxious to hear about the interviews that I had gone to and I was worried that I wasn't good enough. I remember going to work every day feeling more and more upset.

September

Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys

This is the month that I finally got to start working full time!

October

Grown Woman by Beyonce

This is the first month out of my whole life that I feel like I'm an adult and that I can make my own decisions without fear. Of course I will have to deal with the consequences but I can still make those choices for myself. 

100 Questions No One Ever Asks.... 1000 Views

In honor of getting over 1000 views I'm going to answer 100 questions you didn't ask. 

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Um closed... I need to keep the monsters inside somehow.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotels? Yes.... I do... It's there for me to use and I'll use it eventually.

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? OUT. I can get so claustrophobic.

4. Have you stolen a street sign before? No... That's just moronic

5. Do you like to use post-it notes? Yes! I love them! They save my butt at work all the time

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? Nope.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bees. I'll risk the anaphylaxis. I always carry Benadryl with me anyway. 

8. Do you have freckles? Yes. I love my freckles. :)

9. Do you always smile for pictures? Usually. There are times that I'll try to hide though.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve? People not even attempting to have good grammar. 

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Not really. 

12. Have you peed in the woods? Yes. I do go camping.

13. Have you ever pooped in the woods? Again yes... I do go camping

14. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? There's always music playing in my head, but not that others can hear so... yes...

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? Not really

16. How many people have you slept with this week? Do kittens count? No? Okay... none

17. What size is your bed? Queen

18. What is your song of the week? "Drop It Like It's Spock" I can't get enough of this song lately.

19. Is it OK for guys to wear pink? Why not? It's just a color.

20. Do you still watch cartoons? Yeah... I like Pixar, Disney... stuff like that

21. What is your least favorite movie? Any of the Austin Powers movies

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? Like I'd tell anyone that it's under my bed... oops

23. What do you drink with dinner? Usually Coke.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Ketchup, Sweet and Sour or nothing at all

25. What is your favorite food? My mom's home made lasagna... mmmm

26. What movies could you watch over and over again and still love? LOTR, The Hobbit, Divergent, Memoirs of a Geisha, Brave...

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? Jason

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Nope. 

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Oh HELL NO!

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? I wrote a thank you letter to the last people who interviewed me for a full time position.

31. Can you change the oil on a car? PSH yeah. 

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope. I'm a good girl.

33. Ever ran out of gas? Once about a month after I got my first car. I learned my lesson. Good thing I was right beside the gas station. 

34. What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? French Dip

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast? French Toast 

36. What is your usual bedtime? 10 or 11 depending on the day

37. Are you lazy? Just on the weekends lol

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Usually a princess

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Dragon 

40. How many languages can you speak? Fluently 1 but I do know a bit of ASL and Spanish. I'm also attempting to learn Galic, Japanese, and more spanish.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Better Home and Gardens that I got with a Christmas present

42. Which are better: legos or lincoln logs? Legos simply because you can make more with them

43. Are you stubborn? Yes. Definitely.

44. Who is better: Leno or Letterman? I don't watch either.

45. Ever watch soap operas? Yes. I did for about a year in high school

46. Are you afraid of heights? Minorly

47. Do you sing in the car? Oh yes. I put on a show.

48. Do you sing in the shower? Yeah.

49. Do you dance in the car? Yep

50. Ever used a gun? Yes I have. 

Halfway there!

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? December 2014

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? *gasp* HOW DARE YOU?! They could never be cheesy!

53. Is Christmas stressful? In some ways yes. In others NAH.

54. Ever eat a pierogi? Nope. Don't even know what it is.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? CHERRY!!!!!

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Dentist, singer, archiologist

57. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. 

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Often

59. Do you take a vitamin daily? Yes I do.

60. Do you wear slippers? Nope. They are foot traps. 

61. Do you wear a bath robe? Sometimes in winter or when I get out of the shower.

62. What do you wear to bed? A night shirt and sweats

63. What was your first concert? John Michael Montgomery

64. Walmart, Target, or Kmart? Well it WAS walmart before they started being jerks about the receipt thing... Now I prefer Kmart

65. Nike or Adidas? Sketchers

66. Cheetos or Fritos? Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? both

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? Nope but I now what it means in French lol

69. Ever take dance lessons? No but I wouldn't mind doing it now.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I don't care as long as he has a full time job.

71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

72. Ever won a spelling bee? ROTFLOL If you knew me as a kid you would know the answer to that and why it makes me laugh so hard. 

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes.

74. Own any record albums? Nope.

75. Own a record player? Nope

76. Do you regularly burn incense? No. I would if I had a way to keep it in my own space but... that will have to wait.

77. Ever been in love? Yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert? Enya, Celtic Woman, Reba

79. What was the last concert you saw? One at the local college.

80. Hot tea or cold tea? HOT!

81. Tea or coffee? Both

82. Sugar cookies or snickerdoodles? Sugar Cookies!

83. Can you swim well? Yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah

85. Are you patient? Far more so than I was 5 years ago. 

86. DJ or band at a wedding? DJ

87. Ever won a contest? Once or twice

88. Have you ever had plastic surgery? Nope

89. Which are better: black or green olives? Neither! They are both gross.

90. Can you knit or crochet? Crochet

91. Best room for a fireplace? Living Room. 

92. Do you want to get married? Yes. I would love to get remarried to the right man.

93. If married, how long have you been married? I was married once before for 5 years.

94. Who was your high school crush? I had several.

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Not typically, no.

96. Do you have kids? My cat is my surrogate baby but as far as human children... I have none.

97. Do you want kids? More than you can immagine.

98. What is your favorite color? Granny Smith Apple Green, Neon Orange, and Lavender

99. Do you miss anyone right now? Yes. I miss several people.

100. Who are you going to tag to do this next? Anyone who wants to! Please make sure you let me know if you fill it out!

Geeky/Nerdy Songs from Youtube

This post is dedicated to my friends and family that are geeks and nerds! 

Drop It Like It's Spock

Dark Lord Funk

Talk Nerdy To Me

Epic Rap Battle: Nerd vs. Geek

Nerdy Stuff

Gollum Covers Taylor Swift

Doctor Who Parody by The Hillywood Show

The Evils of Public Bathrooms

We all, at one point in our lives have had to deal with the dreaded public bathroom. Sometimes it's just unavoidable. I could tell you about why I avoid them like the plague but I think this girl describes it perfectly.

IISuperwomanII

Quotes That I Love

Walmart Receipt Checks

Lately Walmart her in Redding has been enforcing a receipt check upon exiting the building. It happened suddenly last month and I was stopped out of nowhere (take into consideration that I had nothing out of my bags) and asked to see my receipt. I asked why. They said that it was policy. I agreed and went to sit on the benches by the door waiting for my parents to be done. I sat there for a good 20 minutes watching the checker and the security guard they'd hired stop women but let men pass without even a word... My mother came out and sat with me. I told her what had been happening and she watched with me. The same thing happened for another 10 minutes until my dad came out. He was the only one at the time. He came out with milk and a 12 pack of soda out of bags and no one said a thing to him. My mother and I told him what had happened and we all kind of brushed it off.

A few days later I had to make a stop to the same store before going to work. I bought a simple salad and soda for my lunch that day. They demanded my receipt again... At that point I resolved to not let them see my receipt again.

About two days later, I went with my parents to do a bit more shopping. I left with my mom. I had a bag of cat litter and a 24 pack of soda out of the bags. I walked out and was quickly stopped by one of the security guards. He demanded to see my receipt. I asked him if he thought I was stealing. He said "No". I smiled and said "Then I'm sorry I'm going to decline."

He then put his hand on my cart and said it is store policy and I have to show him because I have cat litter (he slapped the bag) and soda (again smacked the box) out of bags (pulled open one of my bags). I told him that I did not have to and started walking. He yelled after me that he "reserved the right to refuse me service next time" (For clarification the security guard was hired from a company

At this point my father had joined us and passed him and the other checker with milk, soda, and several other things out of bags. My mother heard this and turned to my father. She told him what he'd said and my father went back to the security guard and proceeded to put him in his place. We demanded to see a manager.... they sent out a girl that looked younger than I am. She explained that it was store policy. I told her that I didn't appreciate being made to feel like a thief when I shop there more than once a week. She assured me that she would bring it up to the other managers.

One good thing came out of this. The security guards are no longer at the front since I complained.

After this incident I decided to do some research. It turns out that not only is Walmart doing this...So are places like Target, Costco, Sam's Club and other stores... My question is, why do we put up with it? They have no legal basis to look at our receipts. These stores have cameras all over the place. It's the same as having someone walk behind you watching everything you touch or put in your cart. Below I have posted a couple links that may be of interest to you if you've had similar problems.


The Legality

http://sacramentopress.com

The Bullet Journal System

The Bullet Journal System is a way to keep yourself organized. You can keep your to do list, events, notes and much more in it. It's completely customizable. It was created by a man named Ryder Carroll. I've been using it for about a week now. I have two separate ones. I have one for work and one for personal things. I thought I'd share this little system with those of you who don't fit into the calendars and pre-made things like I do.

http://bulletjournal.com/

An Open Letter From "The Cow"

Hello-

I'm the girl from Walmart yesterday that was looking at the salad dressing when you and your boyfriend walked past me wearing "Bethel" tee shirts. You looked at me and giggled. "Look at the cow." Since I was the only other person in the isle and there were no cows on any packaging near me I assume you were talking about me. 

I also assume you know that Bethel is supposed to be a Christian church. How you behaved was why people look so poorly on us Christians. You, Miss, are a fraud. You cannot walk around proclaiming to be a follower of Christ and be a hateful, spiteful, person like that. 

You have no idea the struggles I have been through in my life and what has led me to be this weight. You don't know how HARD I am trying to lose this weight with little success or what medical conditions I have that complicate my weight loss.

What you said literally made me sick and not want to eat anything for the rest of the day. The only reason I did is because my mother convinced me that you are nothing more than a bully. If I were a younger girl you could have very well started me on a road to anorexia with that single comment. I urge you to watch what you say. Your words can hurt.

Kittens 3 Week Update!

That's right! The kittens are 3 weeks old and are SO big.  The are so sweet and their personalities are shining through already. I made a little video of them playing and introduced them all. I also have a few pictures here so enjoy!

                                      

May 2015 Mental Health Monday (Stress)

Everyone experiences stress. Since the day you are born to the day you pass you have stress in your life. Some days it is more pronounced than others but it is always there. Stress is what gets us out of bed, pushes us to do better at work, and live in general. It is your fight or flight response. It is also
what makes us freak out, feel sick, or generally unwell. Stress can push you onward or literally kill you.

When stress is too bad It can affect all parts of your life. It can affect your memory, eating habits, sex drive, bowel movements, temper, sleep habits, and much more. The good thing is there are several ways to combat this little monster.

• Exercise is a great and free way to beat this bugger. Go take a walk, play with your dog, dance to your favorite songs. It releases endorphins that will lift your spirit.
• Eat healthy foods. You've heard the saying "You are what you eat". Well it's especially true here. If you eat healthy food you are better prepared to deal with the stress. 
• Have a good support system. Having friends and family there to help you when you need them or just to listen to you vent is a HUGE help. It can make the difference between breaking down and breaking through.
• Get some sleep. This one is a bit harder. When you are stressed you may have a hard time sleeping but it's important to get your rest. try having some decaffeinated Camille tea before bed. 

Stress is an every day thing but it doesn't have to rule your life. Just be smart about it and stay healthy. 

HelpGuide.Org
The American Institute of Stress

The Force Was With Us

So Yesterday was a big day for me. Yes, I know I missed Mental Health Monday but I'll make it up this week. I would have done it yesterday but there were two big events. I started my new job and we had five new additions to our family.

Late last month I was hired on as an Extra Help Office Assistant at the Health and Human Services Association, also known as Social Services. Yesterday was my first day and it was a bit nerve wrecking. I'm always nervous when I start a new job or go into a new situation. It's my anxiety kicking in. Anyway, I had a great day and am getting settled in quickly. Hopefully I will be switched to full time within a few months. Fingers crossed...

At about 6:30 last night Lilly's water broke while I was holding her. I took her into my room and put her in her nest. She ended up not wanting to give birth in there so we set towels out and Lilly settled in between my legs. She wanted all her people around her and would go out into the living room to get my mom and dad. Around 10 She still hadn't given birth so we moved her out into the living room where my mom and I stayed until she decided to pop. After kitten number five we ended up getting some sleep. Mom went back to bed and I stayed in the living room with the cats.

This was the first time I had ever seen any living thing being born. It was an amazing and indescribable experience. I'm so glad that I was able to be there for my Lilly while she was going through her tough time. The kittens are so cute too.

"All the Flowers in Shanghai" by Duncan Jepson review

The book "All the Flowers in Shanghai" by Duncan Jepson takes place in China during the lifespan of a young girl named Feng who grew up in a modest home. After the death of her engaged sister, she is forced to marry into what would have been her sister's family. She soon finds out that being part of a wealthy family is harder than she ever imagined. As she ages she becomes hardened and makes many mistakes.

Though this is not my typical type of book I decided to read it because it fulfilled one of the requirements for my 2015 reading challenge. Obviously Duncan Jepson has the same initials as me. While I was trying to find a book to fulfill this requirement, all I could find were romance books. (yuck) I'm really not interested in those. This one caught my eye and the title just seemed like something similar to "Memoirs of a Geisha". It took me a while to read it all the way through since parts of it made me cry and other parts made me want to throw the book across the room. Overall I liked the book and would recommend this for my friends and family to read. I won't say much about the plot because I would give away too much with my rants.

fouseyTUBE Social Experiments

Today I was browsing YouTube as usual and I came across a group of men that do social experiments. I thought I'd share a few of those videos with all of you.

    If you are interested in more of these videos click here and it will take you to fouseyTube's playlist of their experiments. I hope you find them as interesting as I did.

Problems With Sarcasm

I can't tell you how often this exact thing has happened to me. I am a very sarcastic person. My mother taught me the joys of sarcasm at a young age and I seldom go a day without using it in one form or another. I am in full belief that we need some sort of punctuation that denotes sarcasm. I just love when I'm being sarcastic and the recipient of my text or message has no clue that I'm being sarcastic. It's a complete and utter joy to deal with explaining myself.

Life Update

So my life has been kind of crazy the past week and a half. After my last post I got a call to get my back surgery process started. When I was about 15 years old I got into a rollover car accident and it caused some permanent damage. I'm just now getting it fixed. I know I'm a bad girl... Anyway... I had my first testing session on Thursday the 16th. I don't remember much of it to be honest. I remember being rolled into the room on a bed and having my back numbed. Other than that I remember one particularly painful poke when they hit a nerve. The next thing I knew I was in recovery and being allowed to leave.

The day after, though I was still in pain, I had my physical for the county job that I applied for about a month ago. It took nearly 3 hours to get a 5 minute physical done. By the time I was done with it my back hurt so bad... At least it was done.

Today I got three separate calls. The first one was from HR offering me an extra help job with the county. The second was setting up my pre-employment meeting to get my paperwork filled out. And the third was from my new supervisor! I'm so excited! This is a huge opportunity for me. I can't wait to start and prove myself.

Thank you to everyone for putting up with my lack of creativity and posting while I'm going through these transitions. Thank you all for reading my posts. You are all awesome. Let me know what you guys would want to read.

Darlene Jordan Declaration of Independence

I, Darlene Anne Marie Jordan, on this April 11, 2015, being the 6th anniversary of the worst mistake of my life declare myself free. 

I will no longer let the memories of his abuse control my life. I will take the lessons that I learned and apply them to my future relationships and in deciding on my future husband if I should choose to take one. If I choose not to take one that will be my decision as well. It will not be because of fear of being hurt or cheated on. 

With God's continued help and that of my friends and family I will heal daily and make strides to improve my life. I will seek advise from those I trust and love to make wise decisions that will govern the rest of my life. I will lean on them for support and encouragement when I need it. I will accept help.

I will be brave.

What's In My Purse?

I've seen these kinds of posts on YouTube and thought it would kind of be fun to adapt it to my blog because people are always surprised to see exactly how much I fit in my purse and how organized I keep it.

So the above is my purse. I've had it for a few years and it's very sturdy and reliable. 

On the handle I keep hand sanitizer because I'm a slight germaphobe in the cold and flu season. I also use it when bathrooms are just unsanitary. 

Here's the front pouch of my purse.

Inside is the charging cord for my iPhone 4, a tin of Altoids Minis in Wintermint, Bistex medicated chapstick, and Air Heads White Mystery chap stick

Zipper #1

I have a Caboodles pouch that has Beauty, hygene, and a couple other things

Propel Zero Fitness Water Mixes in Strawberry Kiwi, a compact brush/mirror, my checkbook and a spare sanitizer 

Wet Ones in original scent, Hot Hands hand warmers (I can't stand being cold), ear plugs, and a tin with misc. objects.

Inside the tin was 2 hair ties, hair pins, safety pins, 2 glasses repair kits, lighter (I keep it for bbqs or camping), Sea Bands (for migraine icky tummy), spare earring backs, a sample size of Wanderstruck by Taylor Swift, two Dum Dum pops 

Zipper #2

Here we have my mini Johnson and Johnson first aid kit a CPR micro shield, an inhaler and medicine pouch

In the first aid kit there are band-aids, alcohol wipes, 2 gauze pads, an eye glass cleaner, hand cleaner wipes and feminine wipes

In the medicine pouch is a white container of ibuprofen, a pill case with anti-diarrhea medicine and aspirin, a tube of glucose tabs, allergy tabs, migraine medicine and sinus medicine

2 Kleenex packets (for  allergies or sniffles), a lollipop, and 5 gum in Ascent

My pocket knife (assisted opening with glass breaker and seat belt cutter), flashlight, multi tool, keys (with guard dog pepper spray, compass and thermometer)

Zipper #3

My wallet, a beauty tube, face powder, note pad, and headphones

Contents of the beauty tube are tweezers, a nail file and clippers

Contents of my wallet are typical, pictures of family, driver's license, bank card, store cards, and several eye glass cleaners 

Lastly is my Country Chic Perfume from Bath and Body Works, Ralph Lauren's Midnight Romance, lotion, 2 pens and a pin from St Patrick's Day. 

April 2015 Mental Health Monday (Negative Thinking)

Negative thinking is something that comes from a variety of mental health issues. Stress, depression, bipolar, low self esteem, ect. all contribute to negative thinking. At one point or another we all think or say "I can't do it!" That in and of itself is negative thinking. It is a symptom that can destroy you, what you've worked for and anything you will ever work for. The best way to resolve that is to force yourself to revise the way you think.

Step 1- Believe Positity and Happiness ARE Choices
Being happy and positive are within your reach. You just have to choose to be both. It took me a long time and a lot of my mom drilling it into my head for me to believe it but I believe it now. It's just a choice you have to make. You can be miserable and negative or you can be happy and positive.

Step 2- Find Things to Be Happy About
After my divorce I had several things to be mad about. My ex husband cheated on me, He abused me. He took me farther away from the God that I'd always loved. I felt like an utter failure, unlovable, and unwanted. Slowly I found things to be happy about. I had friends who love me. I had family, food, a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, and more comforts than most people. I also had a job. Every day I found something new to  be grateful for and my mood improved. With my mood improving my thoughts got more and more positive.

Step 3- Combat Those Negative Thoughts
This part may take some time. Whenever you feel  yourself getting down about a situation or hating about yourself think positive. Think of ways you can improve the situation or correct your previous statement even if you don't feel it. Soon you will start feeling it. The Bible says if Proverbs 23:7 "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he". This is definitely true. If you think positively about yourself you will be happier. If you find ways to improve your situation you won't be as stressed about them.

Step 4- Spread the Positive
Share the positive with everyone. Share things that are good. Be genuinely happy for others who have good happen to them.

Step 5- Celebrate Victories
That's right! Celebrate your victories! Be proud. Do something good for yourself. Brag a little... You deserve it as much as anyone else.

I hope you can take these tips and incorporate them into your daily life and become a happy, positive person that you want to be.



How To Rewire Your Brain For Positivity And Happiness
How to Train Your Brain to Think Positive