Letter to My Grandma

Hey Gram,

It's been 2 years since you passed and I miss you. I think about you every day and wonder if you are proud of me. So much has happened the last two years and I wish you were here to hug me and tell me you love me. I've had wins and I've had losses but I've grown so much in 24 months.

I divorced my husband. I know you would have been proud of me for that. You never liked him. He was treating me just as bad as you were being treated. I was so proud of you for admitting that you were being abused. I think that's what encouraged me to see what was happening with me. You were so brave in your last week.

I know the last lucid thing you heard was fighting but I hope you know we all were there. I know you reacted to me singing to you for the last time. I'm sorry I was a bit pitchy. I was trying to hold back tears. I know how much you loved to hear me sing. I felt you squeeze my hand. I know you liked it. I still can't hear that song without thinking of you.

The family has never been the same. Some of us went crazy after your death. They took all your valuables before the rest of us could get to them. That's okay though. I got the things that were valuable to me. I got several of your pairs of earrings and a cookie jar. That's all I need to remember you by.

The longer you are gone the more I realize how much we were alike. Mom keeps mentioning things I never knew about you. I knew we loved the same color but I never realized you had the same love for butterflies. It makes me smile every time I think of it.

I got a job as a photographer. I know you'd be proud of that. You know how much I love anything artistic. I love my job. It's fulfilling in a creative way. I just wish I had more hours. There are people that come in sometimes that look or smell or talk just like you did. It makes me miss you so much I want to cry.

There are times I can feel you watching over us and I sometimes feel you smile when I take care of myself or do something you would like. I know you are at peace now but we all miss you. I know I'll see you again someday but it still doesn't make it any easier. Mom and I still cry sometimes. Things are getting easier though. We are moving on with our lives but you are never far from our minds.

I love you. I miss you.